She stuck two fingers up at cancer, built a following of thousands, and inspired a national campaign. For the launch of the #CatchUpWithCancer festive appeal, Radiotherapy UK celebrates the extraordinary life, legacy and courage of Kelly ‘Kickass’ Smith.
It took a brutal cancer diagnosis to show the rest of the world just how special Kelly Smith was.
Before cancer, her Instagram showed a sparky, pretty, young woman devoted to her little boy – sharing snaps of manicures, jewellery, holidays, favourite books and best friends. A happy life, a normal life, a typical 20-something life.
Kelly’s home was Macclesfield, where she lived with her then-partner and young son, Finnley, just a short drive from her parents, Craig and Mandy Russell. She thrived as a make-up artist for Christian Dior and was handpicked to travel to London and work on the National Television Awards. She loved loud music, dance, techno and 80s and 90s classics; and liked to upcycle old furniture in her spare time.
Craig said: “Most Friday nights she would spend about five and a half hours getting ready, music blasting and once she’d gone out, I’d go and look at her room and observe the complete and utter destruction left behind.
“She could turn a perfectly good bedroom into a ‘floordrobe’ and one time I even stuck some ‘Hazard, do not Enter’ tape on the door to make her laugh.
“She had loads of friends, loads, and she was really passionate and fiery. She never minded telling us what she thought.”
Motherhood
Kelly took that passion and applied it liberally to motherhood. When her son Finnley came along, she jumped in with both feet.
“Kelly wanted desperately to be a mum. She did everything for him with total commitment – nappies, 3am feeds, it didn’t matter what it was – she wanted to do it,” Craig said.
But by late 2016 the early signs of serious illness began to show in Kelly’s otherwise happy life. Her Instagram feed from this time is scattered with pictures and posts of get-well flowers, frustration over days in bed, spells in hospital and a seemingly endless wait for answers.
Delayed diagnosis
Cancer seemed impossible, because of Kelly’s young age, and eight crucial months were lost on seven GP trips and wild goose chases, until a rush to A&E following unbearable pain led to diagnostics which confirmed the worst possible news. Kelly had bowel cancer. And it was Stage 4.
After two surgeries and chemotherapy came a brief 6-week remission before the cancer returned. The pattern would repeat over the next two years. Gruelling treatments, brief hope, then relapse.
But if cancer was relentless, then so was Kelly, who became a determined online campaigner. She raised money and awareness: not just of cancer, but of the impact on her mental health, and her efforts to make the most of every second with Finnley and her family. She called herself Kickass Kell, named her cancer rude names, and created a warm, welcoming community for young women with cancer.
Her Instagram bio read:
Stage 4 bowel cancer single mum raising awareness 💪 you can lead a normal life!!!
Her following climbed steadily to 18k, with thousands wishing her well, commiserating when the bad news came, and celebrating the good times Kelly managed to pack in between treatments.
Inspirational
Her outlook genuinely inspired people and she had a talent for finding something good in the darkest of situations: “I think…cancer has changed my mental health for the better. It teaches you that good days are good days. And bad days are OK,” she says thoughtfully to the camera in one video.
Craig explained: “When she was diagnosed, she found a niche on Instagram and I think that invigorated her – to share with others – and helped with her own battle. The chemotherapy made her so ill that she couldn’t go out much and she missed the interaction because she was such a people person. Social media gave her that value of helping others. It lifted her spirits.”
While Kelly was an open book in most respects, she stayed quiet about all the messages that began to flood into her inbox. Her outgoing personality and honesty encouraged people to get in touch, guessing rightly that she would reply. They asked her about what make up she wore when chemotherapy affected her skin, what they should do about their own health concerns, shared the fears and successes of their own cancer journeys. And Kelly responded, sharing anything she thought could help make a difference.
Kickass Kell and Bowelbabe
Perhaps it was no surprise. When first diagnosed, it was Instagram that gave Kelly access to support. She reached out to Dame Deborah James and the two became fast friends through their parallel lives: both young, with families and stricken by bowel cancer.
Craig said: “Kelly and Deborah hit it off from day one. They were kindred spirits and remarkably similar in some ways. They had times when they weren’t at their best and they’d bounce back: and they weren’t going to be defined by cancer, they had so much they wanted to get on with in their lives.”
Precious time together
The priority for Kelly was always Finnley, never cancer.
The hardest and happiest videos to watch are the ones of Kelly with her son. They were the best of friends. More often than not, they end up helpless with laughter at some in-joke or silly song. The clips are no more than a minute long. Anyone watching can grasp why every second counts for cancer patients.
Despite her terminal diagnosis, Kelly started 2020 with high hopes. Chemotherapy was keeping her alive, giving her those extra minutes, hours, days and weeks with Finnley.
Lockdown
But on March 20, as the first lockdown was announced, and her fourth round of chemotherapy was paused. Kelly was deemed clinically vulnerable and told to stay home to avoid catching Covid. Tragically, the decision to guard against Covid, meant that the cancer began to grow out of control.
“Covid just destroyed everything. It cut her life short. She actually was in reasonably good health until quite near the end. When they paused her chemotherapy for 12 weeks, she never received any proper treatment again. That was it,” Craig said.
The family rallied and booked an appointment with a private consultant. He said he could treat her if her markers we low enough, but delays, again caused by Covid, in getting a blood test back meant they were over the limit by the time he saw them. It was just too late.
Not long before her death, Kelly appeared on the You, Me and the Big C podcast (co-hosted by Deborah James) and admitted she was terrified. She didn’t want to die. A clip from the interview appeared in the Deborah James: Bowelbabe in her own Words documentary, when Deborah lost her own five-year battle with cancer.
For Craig and Mandy, hearing how frightened Kelly is still impossibly painful.
Kelly’s final days
Craig said: “About three days before she died, we talked and she said it was time for Finnley to go and stay with his dad. She didn’t want him to be scarred, seeing her so poorly. I think that was the saddest, bravest thing she did. She waved him off, knowing she would never see him again, and all she wanted was to protect him.”
Kelly’s last few hours were at East Cheshire Hospice. Only Mandy could be with her, because of Covid restrictions. Craig’s last sight of her was being wheeled into an ambulance. The family had hoped to keep her at home, but her deteriorating condition made it impossible.
Only 15 people could attend Kelly’s funeral due to Covid restrictions, but 800 people lined the streets between the church and the cemetery.
“It was really overwhelming,” Craig said, “That love and warmth was astonishing. She did touch a lot of lives, yes online, but also locally. Even the fire service came and stood out for her in their full uniforms.”
Cancer took everything
There is no doubt that Kelly made the best of the worst possible situation, but cancer took everything. Her last Christmas with Finnley was in 2019. A beautiful photo of them with Father Christmas was posted along with Kelly’s expressions of guilt that her pain was preventing them from doing many festive activities and her gratitude that a local event company was able to arrange a home visit. The legacy of cancer will last a lifetime for the Russell family, but they are clear that it is Finnley who is paying the highest price.
Craig said: “Cancer has robbed him more than anyone could imagine. He rarely talks about her. When he comes to see us he won’t go in her bedroom. Once in a blue moon he will make a very small comment ‘mummy liked that’ or something but he can’t have a conversation about her. He is incredibly well adjusted, but all his milestones, like secondary school, getting married, starting a family, will be without her.”
Kelly’s lasting legacy
A day or two after her death, knowing that they had to let Kelly’s Instagram followers know the terrible news, Mandy and Craig discovered just how much their daughter had been quietly supporting other people.
Craig said: “To our eternal shame, it wasn’t until she died that we realised why she was glued to her phone. I thought she was online shopping or something when she was trying to help people. She must have decided to take it on her shoulders, and she kept quiet about it. She never broadcasted what was a remarkable achievement.
“The last message she sent was June 3rd, 10 days before she died. By that point she’d lost mobility in her hands and the swelling on her brain meant it was just impossible for her to carry on. But she kept it going as long as she could.
“People still miss her and message the account. We’ve even had people tell us it was Kelly that made them go back to the doctor, told them not to take ‘no’ for an answer, and as a result they are still here,” said Craig.
Kelly died in June 2020. Today, treatment waiting times for cancer patients are the appalling – almost 4 in 1 cancer patients are waiting too long. And for Kelly’s family that is unforgivable. Shortly after their daughter was buried, they galvanised the #CatchUpWithCancer campaign, pleading with decision makers to invest in cancer treatments and clear long waiting times.
Lack of progress
Craig said: “Kelly would be fuming with the lack of progress.
“Cancer patients aren’t being failed by the doctors, nurses, porters and cleaners, they’re being failed by NHS England, the government and the Department of Health, who just keep dusting off the same old statements. There’s an absolute denial that there’s even a problem and that beggar’s belief.
“The only progress that means anything to me would be a quantifiable improvement that gets patients the treatment they need as quickly as possible. We need to start diagnosing and treating people at Stage 1 and Stage 2. By the time it gets to 3 or 4 it is too late and that’s unacceptable.
“The frustration and anger are never going to go away, but we have tried to take that negative energy and do something constructive with it. I just want to stop even one family having to go through what we’ve been through.
“I keep my memories of Kelly away from that anger, I keep them separate so I can still have positive thoughts about her life.”
In 2022, Kelly Smith was posthumously awarded the Pride of Cheshire Award. A new build development on the site of a former grammar school has been named in tribute to her life: Kelly Smith Way.
“It always was her way,” smiles Craig, “Everything in her story was of her own making. We are just so proud of her.”
With sincere thanks to the Russell family for their tireless support of the #CatchUpWithCancer campaign
